Here I am... it is Wednesday morning and I have just spent the last hour communicating with the new school my girls will go to this September in New Brunswick. Think about it... my daughter will start grade 10 this fall. I started grade 11 in 1982 at Alberni District Secondary School. I had high hopes for that year. I was glad to leave A.W. Neill after spending 3 years hating almost every day of school. Not wanting to face those dreaded hallways or crammed in locker or beat the crowds to class and try to sit anonymously at the back of the room. I hoped that ADSS had new hope for me. So it surprised me that high school was even bigger and a bit scarier! I hated walking down the gauntlet to get past the auditorium to the hallway. I think I knew every mark on that floor! So grateful for home ec and business ed, those helped me graduate! :) It was amazing to realize later in life I was not stupid, just didn't care about what high school taught me! What a relief!
High school is so long ago. In some ways it would be SO COOL to go back knowing what I know now. Realizing that I made myself unhappy and my shrinking and hiding was of my own volition. How do we help our kids through those times now? If you were popular and they aren't how do you walk them through that transition? Do you relive the glory days and tell them how great high school was or do you realize that maybe it was harder for other people than you thought?
If you were shy and awkward or invisible, how do you help your child gain that confidence that they need to open up and enjoy these years they will never get back? How do you get them to understand that those looks, comments and innuendos won't really follow you forever?
How do you encourage your son or daughter to be safe? Strong? Party and have fun but don't.... get in trouble, don't get into dangerous situations, don't do what you did? OR encourage them to do some of what you didn't do? What a dilemma!
My parents were strict and religious. I figured it was pretty much a mortal sin to have fun, party do anything outside the basic guidelines. I had to wear my sweaters buttoned up to the second button... hmmmm... with my cleavage, did not make for the most interesting look! If I had a bit more confidence and some swagger as they say, I bet grade 11 and 12 would have been a blast! (Of course I probably would have been kicked out of the house if I unbuttoned any lower or wore shorter skirts or party'd later than 10 on a Saturday night!
Would I change it? Absolutely! Do I understand why my parents worried? Absolutely! Now, my dilemma is... how do I raise my girls? Yes, they see us drink and party safely (usually!) socially, always! Do I let them drink and help them do it safely? Do I say no, you need to observe safe social practices but you can't do it until you are of legal age? Do I admit I ever smoked pot? Or tried a variety of substances that are not available over the counter? hmmmmm... Well, I go for the honesty point.
I have told my daughter (quite recently) as required in learning and conversation... yes, I am not a complete saint. Yes, I made a million and one mistakes... Yes I have been the unsafe driver... NOT NOW THOUGH... yes, I did smoke the occasional product that did not come from the grocery store... NOT NOW THOUGH... yes... I was in unsafe situations and have lost my head and have paid for those mistakes.... Will this help her? I sure hope so. Will she realize that when I say no, or ask about who she is with, where they are going, how will they get there, who is driving, when to call for help... etc... etc... etc... and when I get that "I know MOM!" comment... will she truly understand where the advice comes from? Sometimes. Sometimes... she won't but hopefully she will remember that her mom loves her, cares and would do anything for her.
No, I don't want her to drink. No, I don't want her to do drugs. No, I don't want her in a dangerous situation... Yes, I will always come pick you up or send a cab. Yes, I will always help you and take you to safety. Yes, I will get mad at you the next day, but only because I was terrified I would lose you.
No, I didn't go crazy in high school. In fact, I had my first date about 2 months before school ended. No, I didn't stand out in the crowd. Yes, I did go crazy later because I did not work up to those social situations, didn't know how to handle myself at a party and didn't have any dating history to fall back on. So, when the first guy told me he loved me, he had me. Oh well, that is OK. Without that guy I wouldn't have these beautiful girls that I now worry about!
I now get why some parents are so strict. Kids, it isn't because your parents don't trust you. It isn't because they think you are stupid. Why are they strict? They don't want you to make the mistakes they made. They don't want you hurt, sad or unsafe. We just think about what we did and don't want you to go through that.
On the other hand, wow weren't some of those parties great? Didn't we have a good time and some "freedom"? We don't want them to lose that. It is so sad the world has changed... the ways to make kids miserable have become so easy with Facebook, MSN, texting, Twitter and so many ways you can torment a kid... It used to be quieter although still debilitating. How many crazy people have wrecked pot? Laced it with crap that you can't even feel safe about it if you wanted to? I guess it is like organic food, if you don't know how it was grown, maybe you shouldn't touch it?
I read on Facebook how some woman is approaching children in the town I grew up in. How she is asking them to come with her. Why? Is she just mental? Evil? Stupid? Either way I reflect on how I used to run about all day and feel safe. Went to the river after breakfast and came home before it was dark. I don't let my daughter (the younger one, I am not THAT crazy!) out of my sight at the playground or water park. What are our kids learning? The innocence is so lost. It is so sad......
Well, I tend to go on and get a thought in my head. My final words for the day are... I bought my 25 acre piece of heaven and tranquility in New Brunswick and unfortunately the house closing was in mid April not mid July and we have to move sooner than expected. I had hoped to leave right after the reunion. However, it appears that although our mortgage is low, we have to pay mortgage, increased taxes and increased insurance until we occupy the property. We also plan to make a 10 day to 2 week trip across the country to see the amazing country we live in. After all of that Olympic pride, we have to see it to appreciate it right?
So, to summarize, I will not be at the reunion. I will continue to work on it, help and be a part of it in every other way, except attending. I am hoping that a few people can jump in for the final moments to help the committee set up on the day. There should not be too much more to do. I am her through June 29th and then leave. I can complete the registrations and work with the hotel. I am so sad to miss this... it would have been my first reunion and I think I was finally emotionally mature enough to handle it ;)
It has been a blast learning about people and their lives and connecting on Facebook. Especially since most of you are not people I ever knew in high school. I have had to rely on people like Nancy and Charlene to blast my memory of... hmmm... did I know that person? No offense, just my life and living and experiences and old age, have left my long term memory a bit weak!
I wish you all happiness, health and a wonderful future. Think about your kids and those they interact with... try to remember your past and maybe the one time you should have reached out to someone and didn't. Help this next group of amazing people take on the world in the best way possible!
Ciao!
High school is so long ago. In some ways it would be SO COOL to go back knowing what I know now. Realizing that I made myself unhappy and my shrinking and hiding was of my own volition. How do we help our kids through those times now? If you were popular and they aren't how do you walk them through that transition? Do you relive the glory days and tell them how great high school was or do you realize that maybe it was harder for other people than you thought?
If you were shy and awkward or invisible, how do you help your child gain that confidence that they need to open up and enjoy these years they will never get back? How do you get them to understand that those looks, comments and innuendos won't really follow you forever?
How do you encourage your son or daughter to be safe? Strong? Party and have fun but don't.... get in trouble, don't get into dangerous situations, don't do what you did? OR encourage them to do some of what you didn't do? What a dilemma!
My parents were strict and religious. I figured it was pretty much a mortal sin to have fun, party do anything outside the basic guidelines. I had to wear my sweaters buttoned up to the second button... hmmmm... with my cleavage, did not make for the most interesting look! If I had a bit more confidence and some swagger as they say, I bet grade 11 and 12 would have been a blast! (Of course I probably would have been kicked out of the house if I unbuttoned any lower or wore shorter skirts or party'd later than 10 on a Saturday night!
Would I change it? Absolutely! Do I understand why my parents worried? Absolutely! Now, my dilemma is... how do I raise my girls? Yes, they see us drink and party safely (usually!) socially, always! Do I let them drink and help them do it safely? Do I say no, you need to observe safe social practices but you can't do it until you are of legal age? Do I admit I ever smoked pot? Or tried a variety of substances that are not available over the counter? hmmmmm... Well, I go for the honesty point.
I have told my daughter (quite recently) as required in learning and conversation... yes, I am not a complete saint. Yes, I made a million and one mistakes... Yes I have been the unsafe driver... NOT NOW THOUGH... yes, I did smoke the occasional product that did not come from the grocery store... NOT NOW THOUGH... yes... I was in unsafe situations and have lost my head and have paid for those mistakes.... Will this help her? I sure hope so. Will she realize that when I say no, or ask about who she is with, where they are going, how will they get there, who is driving, when to call for help... etc... etc... etc... and when I get that "I know MOM!" comment... will she truly understand where the advice comes from? Sometimes. Sometimes... she won't but hopefully she will remember that her mom loves her, cares and would do anything for her.
No, I don't want her to drink. No, I don't want her to do drugs. No, I don't want her in a dangerous situation... Yes, I will always come pick you up or send a cab. Yes, I will always help you and take you to safety. Yes, I will get mad at you the next day, but only because I was terrified I would lose you.
No, I didn't go crazy in high school. In fact, I had my first date about 2 months before school ended. No, I didn't stand out in the crowd. Yes, I did go crazy later because I did not work up to those social situations, didn't know how to handle myself at a party and didn't have any dating history to fall back on. So, when the first guy told me he loved me, he had me. Oh well, that is OK. Without that guy I wouldn't have these beautiful girls that I now worry about!
I now get why some parents are so strict. Kids, it isn't because your parents don't trust you. It isn't because they think you are stupid. Why are they strict? They don't want you to make the mistakes they made. They don't want you hurt, sad or unsafe. We just think about what we did and don't want you to go through that.
On the other hand, wow weren't some of those parties great? Didn't we have a good time and some "freedom"? We don't want them to lose that. It is so sad the world has changed... the ways to make kids miserable have become so easy with Facebook, MSN, texting, Twitter and so many ways you can torment a kid... It used to be quieter although still debilitating. How many crazy people have wrecked pot? Laced it with crap that you can't even feel safe about it if you wanted to? I guess it is like organic food, if you don't know how it was grown, maybe you shouldn't touch it?
I read on Facebook how some woman is approaching children in the town I grew up in. How she is asking them to come with her. Why? Is she just mental? Evil? Stupid? Either way I reflect on how I used to run about all day and feel safe. Went to the river after breakfast and came home before it was dark. I don't let my daughter (the younger one, I am not THAT crazy!) out of my sight at the playground or water park. What are our kids learning? The innocence is so lost. It is so sad......
Well, I tend to go on and get a thought in my head. My final words for the day are... I bought my 25 acre piece of heaven and tranquility in New Brunswick and unfortunately the house closing was in mid April not mid July and we have to move sooner than expected. I had hoped to leave right after the reunion. However, it appears that although our mortgage is low, we have to pay mortgage, increased taxes and increased insurance until we occupy the property. We also plan to make a 10 day to 2 week trip across the country to see the amazing country we live in. After all of that Olympic pride, we have to see it to appreciate it right?
So, to summarize, I will not be at the reunion. I will continue to work on it, help and be a part of it in every other way, except attending. I am hoping that a few people can jump in for the final moments to help the committee set up on the day. There should not be too much more to do. I am her through June 29th and then leave. I can complete the registrations and work with the hotel. I am so sad to miss this... it would have been my first reunion and I think I was finally emotionally mature enough to handle it ;)
It has been a blast learning about people and their lives and connecting on Facebook. Especially since most of you are not people I ever knew in high school. I have had to rely on people like Nancy and Charlene to blast my memory of... hmmm... did I know that person? No offense, just my life and living and experiences and old age, have left my long term memory a bit weak!
I wish you all happiness, health and a wonderful future. Think about your kids and those they interact with... try to remember your past and maybe the one time you should have reached out to someone and didn't. Help this next group of amazing people take on the world in the best way possible!
Ciao!
so sad you won't be there sarah - was hoping to meet up with you at the reunion and kick-start my long-term memory! thanks for all your work in getting this reunion together and all the best on the east coast - what an adventure!
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